Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Today I was standing in the greeting card section at the drug store. I have a tendency to be a bit of a sap (read: I cry at EVERYTHING). So I'm standing there looking for a card for my husband, getting all choked up as I read them. I don't think it is that the cards are so amazingly well-written, they just articulate feelings I already have. So I'm standing amidst the tinsel and getting choked up. Did I mention I am a sap?

On that note, I had to share a very funny exchange that occurred last night after my 8 year old and I went to the grocery store. To set the context, my kids have been watching "The Santa Clause" movies this week. In the movies, the fireplace stretches magically to allow Santa to get into the house, then snaps back to its original form. Pretty cool.

So here we are in the car...
S: "Does it hurt to have a baby?"
Me: "Well, it was a lot of work, but totally worth it."
S: "Oh"
Me: "Do you understand how babies come out of their Moms?" (We've talked around this before, but never broken out the diagrams. My Mom once explained it and my son piped up "Ewwwwww.that is esgusting!")
S: "They come out your bellybutton" (Uh oh, here we go).
Me: "Not exactly. Do you understand how babies are made?"
S: "Blah Blah Blah (relatively accurate and detailed explanation)...Sperm...Blah blah blah"
Me: (Did my 8 year old just use the word sperm?????? Next she will be spelling "gestation" for me!!!) "That is about right. Where did you learn all that?"
S: "I read it in a book."
Me: "Really? What book?"
S: "I don't remember. It was at the church book sale."
Me: (Thinking to myself "You can't make this stuff up!"). (Provide explanation of where babies actually come out of the body)
S: "How does that work?"
Me:"Well, the bones move, things stretch, and then they go back to where they belong."
S: (Ponders.....) "Oh, like Santa coming through the fireplace in the movie. Got it. Can I have dessert when we get home?"

How come these conversations never happen for Tommy?????


  1. Because clearly Tommy does not have experience in birthing babies! ;) So funny!!

  2. That's awesome! Yep, just like the chimney! :)

  3. Too dang funny! But now I've got a really bad mental image that I can't shake involving chimneys, Tim Allen, and babies. Eck!

  4. Kudos to you and all the other moms!! I was 9lbs 6oz and my mom was in labor for 36hrs...needless to say I am only child.

    (And I've seen that movie. That chimney REALLY stretches!!)

  5. The chimney kind of makes sense in a weird kind of way. I once told step son when he was about 5 not to smell the gas at the gas station. He asked why and I told him it was bad for him. Being a know-it-all he said "Ya it will make me pass gas."